EMPOWERED MOM

Well, I have been sick since the week before Lili’s graduation and after my birthday. That explains the absence from blogging. Although I have been around, but mostly for tasks that needed to be finished. And because I was sick, I actually allowed a few tasks to expire, as I could no longer finish them while coughing out loud and finding means to breathe.. Hey, I am not dying or anything, but this cough and colds is killing me! Hahaha..(let me just laugh it out here without ever coughing.. wink)

So what did I miss? A lot actually. I have started joining memes, but due to my absence, I failed to join them continuously. But that’s just okay. I can still join them in the next meme week.. Though there are some that have been scheduled but were never posted as part because I forgot to link them..

Anyway, I am now starting to become alive again, although I am not fully well yet. And I so hate what greeted me today. This video shared by a fellow mommy blogger at our secret hiding place in Facebook. I will not add the video in this post as you can find them in You tube.. Instead, I would like to redirect you to a worthy post by another mommy blogger. You can view the video from there… CLICK HERE for Momblogger’s post. Simply put,  I share her sentiments. I am actually speechless as I watched the video.. It was like watching my daughter or my baby brother while being assaulted and humiliated, but I could not do anything about it. But then again, my daughter or my baby brother wouldn’t be in Willing  Willie gyrating and being laughed at for money, because they do NOT have to do that. Responsible parents would NOT allow anything like that to happen to their kids and family… Responsible parents and family will, at all costs, protect the rights of every child…. Such a disturbing scene breaks my heart…

I wish someone would file a case against Willie Revillame.. He has done so much to destroy a child’s innocence.. Bluntly put, it’s Child Abuse… and clearly an act of violence against Janjan… I do not know if there is a provision that will allow anyone not related to Janjan to file the case. I think there is… I think I read that somewhere, will check for it though. But hey, it’s on national television.. The MTRCB and DSWD should do something about this..  Rescue Janjan from his family and relatives..   I am sure, every person with his or her right mind would agree.. And those who say that it is purely entertainment, SHAME ON YOU! The video is another addition to giving a bad impression towards the Philippines and every Filipino..

This is not a post that condemns homosexuality and lesbianism. This is not to criticize or abhor people who have chosen such gender preference. So too, this does not mean surrender or embracing it. This has nothing to do with the gender preference, really. But I would like to stress something that is not right, whether it is done by a woman, man, homosexual or a lesbian. It’s “breaking one’s trust” and “being victimized by inappropriate acts”…

When a man makes a pass at a woman who does not like the man doing it, the woman naturally feels bad. Same thing with all the other sexes and gender preferences. Because technically, if the recipient liked the act, then the two would be flirting and perhaps end in a sexual mood or may be a door to opening a good relationship sooner or later. No gender is ever exempted from this. Just as no gender is also exempted from abuse, neglect or harm..

I have friends telling me that they go into a different kind of relations all because they didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Man on man or women on women relationships that others would really raise an eyebrow at or genuinely accepted and tolerated. Well, we are in a new era and if we respect other people, we respect what they do with their lives.  But it’s a different thing when a woman manipulates, abuses and disrespects a woman.

Believe it or not, it is not only men who do acts of lasciviousness on a woman. And believe it or not, it is not only men who rape women. Sometimes, the woman or women that a woman trusts are the ones that hurt her.. With this in mind, we women must be keen with all the signs…

After 48 years of being married, Manang Pilar (not her real name) could finally breathe. At the wake of her husband, she never wept. Not a single tear flowed down her cheeks. Not a single tear, nor sorrow. But she was not happy either. She felt nothing. Even the children who loves her very much did not cry one bit while people flocked and flooded them with condolences.

If you are merely an onlooker sitting from afar, you will wonder why the wife of 48 years will never mourn her husband’s passing.  You will wonder why all his 6 children never showed any pain or sorrow from his demise. They were just there. As if to tell people that at the end of the head of the family’s life, they are a family still, hence they have to be there.

TO BE CONTINUED..(will finish tomorrow, I am very sleepy already..)

This is a very powerful and insightful piece written by Alice Walker. Every woman’s shout-out to life..

WOMAN
TO STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN,
WOMAN MUST STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST HERSELF.
WE CAN BEGIN TO DO THIS NOW THAT WE SEE A SKY
AND NOT A ROCK, A STICK OR A FIST,
ABOVE ALL OUR HEADS.
WOMAN
TO STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN,
STOP THE VIOLENCE THAT YOU PERPETUATE AGAINST YOUR OWN SISTER
WHO IS A WOMAN,
YOUR OWN DAUGHTER WHO IS A WOMAN,
YOUR OWN DAUGHTER-IN-LAW WHO IS A WOMAN.
YOUR OWN MOTHER WHO IS A WOMAN.

WOMAN
TO STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN,
STOP THE VIOLENCE THAT LIVES IN OPPOSITION TO YOUR LIFE,
DEEP IN YOUR OWN TERRORIZED
AND UN-CHERISHED HEART.

WOMAN
REMEMBER WHO WE ARE: NOT “GUYS”
BUT THE MOTHER OF ALL LIVING.
WE CREATE OUR OWN BLOOD
AND MILK THE CREATURES WHO OPPRESS US;
WHETHER THEY ARE MEN OR OURSELVES.

WOMAN
AWAKE!
ARISE!
STAND UP!
WOMAN
TO STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN,
GET UP ON YOUR PERFECTLY UNBOUND FEET!

WE HAVE LOST THE EARTH LIVING IN OUR KNEES.

-By Alice Walker

This was performed in MMRP in VDAY CDOC 2008. I guess, if all women listen to the VOICE of  OTHER WOMEN, they will be able to find a better understanding of what the fight is all about.

If  you have not read Lucita et al. Part 1, then you will not understand this post. This is a continuation of that said piece.

So when she recovered from that near death situation, she was brought back to the center to live with the head mistress. She joined the others in the recovery program, until she has regained enough consciousness to be able to decide to file VAWC, and that was what they had done. Medical records in place, and her affidavit of complaint. Soon after, the case followed through smoothly. Unfortunately, on the day of the trial, the common law husband fled and did not show up anymore. The children were left with the new common law wife who took upon herself the responsibility to feed them, until she too felt that it was too much to bear and left the children with the neighbors. They were taken to a government facility and Lucita’s 2 kids were later on requested to join her at the center while the other two, being that they are not hers, await the coming of their relatives to take them home.

With her children beside her, she was little by little picking up.. She still stares at walls but not as much as when she was first brought back from the hospital. Unfortunately, she is not as positive as all the others who she spends sessions with. Whenever group sharing takes place, she would always be silent and not a word would come out from her. Fun sessions or serious sessions, she has the same expression. If you look her in the eye, you will see nothing. And with that I wondered. It’s like she is no longer there in that very body that holds her spirit. It’s like, she’s emptied and no matter how much we try to reach out to her, to fill her with encouragement, with hope, she’s still empty. I can imagine filling water on a pail with a hole at the bottom. And what’s worse is that, to touch her is impossible for she is evasive to human touch and human connection.  it would have been easier if she wasn’t.  I wish I could do something more.. but I feel that all my knowledge and all the skill that I have remembered to use in the process seem futile….It’s like she has kept quiet for so long and she intends to keep quiet still– especially now that her case is on a stand-still. Her children, as young as they are, are suffering too. Mothers are supposed to be chatty and informative so children will be able to easily adapt and learn new things. Such silence may also hinder some growing and nurturing on the part of the children.

I am seeing them again next week. Till then, I would not know how things will become.

Lucita is just one of the many women who have suffered because of some stupid, selfish and arrogant man, who trampled and vexed her spirit. I may not understand how she is coping because of lack of communication, but I do know that encouraging her and giving her love and attention will change her little by little.. Well, I am sure we will go to that– sooner or later, but it will come.